Fate, Miss Saigon FanFic
by epo9lizzy
Summary: When Kim survived from her suicide attempt, Chris struggles to make it up for her and Tam.. But will he succeed doing it when there's Ellen as his wife?
1. The Aftermath

A/N: This is what I imagined if Kim would have survived.. and what would happened after that.. My first fic ever, so be nice! I wanna know how it is first, so if there is 10 reviews asking for the continuation of this fic, I'll keep posting the chapters!

**Chapter 1: Aftermath**

The atmosphere in the hospital is tense. Chris keep pacing in front of the emergency room while Ellen is holding little Tam who is sleeping, not understanding what happened 3 hours ago.

Flashback

"Kim!! Kim, wake up!! No, you can't die!!" Chris keeps shaking Kim's body.

"Chris, stop!" John, who just recovered after stunned watching what had happened, tries to calm Chris down.

Chris abruptly stands up, holding Kim, and rushing towards the door.

"Chris, where are you going?" Says Ellen, who is still holding Tam in her arms, "Where are you taking her? She passed away."

"No, she's not! I'll bring her to hospital!"

With that, Chris leaves the place, with Ellen, Tam, and John behind.

--

When they reach hospital, Chris frantically cry for help.

"Doctor, please save her! She must survive!" Says Chris, with tears keep sliding down his face.

After Kim had been lied down on a bed, the doctor asks, "What happened to her?"

"She got shot." Says John.

"We'll try our best to help her, but there's not much hope. We have to wait for miracles." With that, the doctor rush to the emergency room, where other doctors and nurses starts the operation.

"Chris.."

"Ellen, forgive me.. but I just can't.."

"No, I completely understand." Says Ellen, with her own tears sliding down her cheeks.

End of Flashback

That has been 3 hours ago. 3 long and agonizing hours. Chris and Ellen had their own mind somewhere.

Chris can't stop feeling guilty to himself. While what had happened is terrible, he found who he actually choose and love. _Kim_. 'I'm foolish! I know that deep down I love Kim, and I feel overjoyed when I found out about Tam, and Kim being alive. Why should I deny it? But.. I can't abandon Ellen. She's the one who first healed me of my sorrow when I thought Kim had died, even just a bit. But if Kim died now.. No, she must not die! Kim, please survive! I love you.'

Ellen had her own mind somewhere else while she gazes down upon Tam. 'Why should I be selfish! This little boy is innocent. I shouldn't make him suffer by losing his mother. If Kim died.. I would be the one who mentally killed her. I shouldn't make Kim desperate and choose to die. I shouldn't make Chris choose. To think about it.. I'm actually leaving Chris with no choice. Chris must have been suffering.. I know clearly even before I married him that his heart is Kim's..'

John, who left shortly after they arrived to take care the engineer's matter, come to Chris and squeeze Chris's shoulder, showing his support toward his best friend. John felt he is the one who should be blamed.. 'If only I could help that time.. I'm the one who separate Chris from Kim..'

The emergency room's door abruptly opened, startling everyone.

Chris, who is more calmed now, ask the doctor impatiently, "Doctor, how is she?"

"She has fight amazingly great, sir. She survived."

Hearing this, all 3 adults were relieved greatly.

"But sir.." The doctor hesitantly said.

"What happen, doctor?" Asked John.

"She barely survived. Even though she can wake up, she might not heal completely. She will need consistent treatment in the future."

Chris felt a pang in his heart.

Ellen asked, "When can we see her?"

"As soon as we move her to another room. It might help if she is treated in another country, seeing that this country doesn't have much improved treatment in medication."

With that, the doctor leave them.

"Chris.." John said hesitantly, knowing what Chris decide, trying to stop what will happen.

"I'll take her back to the States." Chris said.

John pulled him aside, whispering to Chris so that Ellen won't hear, "Chris, are you out of your mind! What about Ellen? What about her feeling?"

"No. I've caused Kim to suffer this way. I won't leave her like this. I won't separate Kim with Tam."

"You're taking Tam back? I thought you're leaving him here."  
"No. He is my son. I won't abandon him."

"But.."

"It's okay, John, it's what I would do as well if I were Chris." Ellen said calmly, startling the two men, nodding to Chris, reassuring him of her agreement.

"Then.. we have to wait until Kim wake up. We're taking her back as soon as we can."

Chris looks at Tam guiltily and takes him from Ellen without saying anything.

'Tam.. I'm sorry.. But I promise a good life for you..' Chris thought.

While he holds his son, Tam snuggles back to Chris. This gesture fills Chris joy and sadness at the same time. Joy for having his son in his arms, and sadness for making his loved ones, Tam and Kim, in this terrible situation..

A/N: Did you like it? hate it? Don't forget to leave a review!


	2. Waking Up

**A/N:** I know I say I'll keep posting if there's reviews, but then when I think again... Nope, I don't need reviews THAT BAD to keep posting! And maybe the 1st chapter is just too short? Well... just tell me about it, **review is greatly appreciated**!

**Chapter 2: Waking Up**

Kim never feels more peace than now. She feels as if she's walking on a cloud. Suddenly she hears her parents' voice calling for her.

"Kim.."

"Mother! Father! I missed you!" She ran towards them and hugs them.

"We missed you too, Kim.." Said her mother.

"We watched you from here, always." Said her father, patting her head.

"About Thuy.. I beg for your forgiveness.. I just couldn't be with him.. I.. I love Chris!"

"No Kim, we understand.. you don't have to feel guilty dear." Said her mother, calming her.

"We felt sad when we saw your struggles.. We should have been there for you.." Her father said while shook his head.

"Kim, you should be there for Tam.. You should be on your son's side.."

"But mother.. if I live, Chris and Ellen will leave Tam.. This is the only way for me to give Tam the best life!" Cried Kim.

"No Kim, I believe Chris won't leave your son.. I understand this completely."

"Father, he doesn't even love me anymore, how would he love a child he barely knew?"

"That may be what you believe Kim.. but we can see completely that he still loves you.. and he love your child.." Her mother said, reassuring her.

"What about his wife? He got married already.. It won't do justice for her.."

"We know more than you know now, Kim.. But we can only tell you, being with Chris and your son is the only way for you.." Her father says wisely.

"But.." Kim lose her words.

"Kim, turn your back… See it.. and you'll understand what we say.." Her mother said, while walking away from her.

"Just remember that we love you Kim.. and we'll protect you from afar.." Her father said, getting farther and farther.

When Kim turn back, she saw her son, Tam, in the arms of his father, Chris. Chris was whispering to Tam, "Tam, my son.. You might not understand everything… You might not know why we are here.. You might hate me for hurting your mother so many times, for leaving both of you.. But always know that I love both of you.. you are everything for me.. I'm just hoping for your mother to wake up.. And I promise, I'll find a way for three of us to be happy, together.."

Kim cried when she heard this.

"But how is it going to happen, Chris? How? Now that you've got your wife?"

Then, Kim heard Chris's voice, saying, "Kim, I'm sorry… I would never want things to end like this.. Please, wake up.. Don't leave us.. Please.. Remember Tam.. Come back for our son.. Tam needs you.. I need you, Kim.."

After contemplating for her choice, Kim makes up her mind.

--

Chris never leaves Kim's side. He keeps waiting for Kim to wake up. He's scared that if he left Kim, Kim will pass away as well. Even though John and Ellen beg him, he wouldn't move. Ellen takes care of Tam. Tam never leaves the hospital as well. Chris demands Tam to stay there, so when Kim wakes up, Tam will be there as well.

And it's been two days. Two days, full of anxiety and worry for Chris.

It was the sunrise of the third day, when Chris heard Kim stirred. He rushed to call the doctors and went immediately to Kim's side.

"Kim, Kim! Can you hear me? It's me, Chris!"

"Sir, can you step aside please? We need to check her." The doctor asked.

"Kim! Please look at me!" Begged Chris, ignoring the doctor.

Amazingly, Kim opened her eyes.

"Chris.."

Chris, being overjoyed that Kim survived, hugs her. John, who came to check him, pulls him back so that the doctor can check Kim.

"Chris, patience! The doctor needs to make sure she's alright!"

"John, she's alive! She's alive!" Chris cried with joy.

"How is she, doctor?" Asked Chris.

"She is a great fighter. She managed to survive, but she's still weak.. I suggest getting her out of the country to heal her health."

"Yes! Thank you doctor! I'll manage that as soon as we can!" Said Chris.

"Tam.. Where is Tam?" Kim asked weakly.

"Here, he's with us. Tam, your mother survives!" Chris, overjoyed that Kim survived, hugs his son tight. He brings Tam and lay him down beside Kim.

John, knowing that Chris needed time alone with Kim and Tam, leave the room after saying that he is going out for some fresh air.

Chris kissed Kim's forehead and touched her cheeks. Kim flinched at these gestures. Chris, feeling Kim's reactions, frowned and pulled his hands back.

"What's the matter?"

Kim doesn't say anything.

"Kim, what's wrong?"

"…. You've got a wife, Chris. You shouldn't do these things to me."

"But.."

"You don't have to feel sorry and guilty for me. I understand completely."

"Understand? Understand about…?"Chris asked, confused.

"I understand completely that you have a new life.. A much better life. I understand I'm not a part of your life anymore, but please… please take Tam with you. He needs a life.. He deserve a better future. He's your son." Kim begged.

"Kim, I.."

"I will give my life for my son. I'll be alright, living without him, knowing that he lives a good life, with you. He deserves it."

"I know, you proved that to me. Don't worry, I'll take him to the States."

"Thank you." Kim interrupted, turning her face away so that Chris can't see the sorrow in her eyes, knowing she would part with her only possession, her only reminder of Chris.

"But I won't separate him from you."

"No! Chris, please, take him!" Begged Kim.

"What?" Chris became confused of Kim's reaction. Then something downed on him. 'No! She thinks that I'm going to leave them here!'

"No Kim, I'm taking you both! I won't leave either of you here!" Chris frantically reassures her.

"…. What? No! What about your wife?" Asked Kim.

Ellen unexpectedly appears from the door and says, "It's alright Kim, I want you to be with us in the States."

"But.." Kim lost her words, confused on Ellen's statement.

"Kim, the doctor told us you need to get more improved treatment, you need to go with us! Please!" Chris begged desperately.

Seeing this, Ellen step forward and ask Chris, "Chris, why don't you join John? I'll explain this to Kim."

Chris, unsure if he should leave Kim with Ellen, turn to look at Ellen's face, reassuring that there won't be any hurt resulted from leaving them by themselves. Ellen seems to understand this, nodded at Chris. Chris turn to glance at Kim, who simultaneously nodded.

"Kim.." Ellen started, unsure how to start the conversation.

"Mrs…" Kim said, but Ellen interrupted, "Call me Ellen, please."

"Ellen.. You don't have to worry about me. Just please, take good care of my son. Just leave me here, I'll be alright, as long as Tam is alright."

"No, no, no! Kim, you need to go with us! You're not going to be fully healed if you stay here. The doctors told us.. you need more improved medical treatment."

"Ellen, please.. I can't go with you. I don't want to hurt your feelings."

"Kim.. I'm alright. You're here, mostly because of me." Ellen stated, guiltily.

"No, it's fully my choice to end my life. I'll give my life for Tam. He's the only one I have."

"Then… why don't you go with us, Kim? Tam needs you! Tam needs his real mother.."

"But Ellen.."

"Kim, please.. I beg you, go with us. Tam would want you to stay beside him forever. Having your health taken care would be the greatest gift for him."

Kim stays silent, unsure of what to say.

Ellen, remembering John's story of Kim, try once more to assure her to go to States with them.

"Kim.. I know that you are an orphan. You may ask how I know this. When you are still unconscious, John told me everything about you. How you met Chris, how you struggles for Tam.. You missed your parents, didn't you? Why won't you spare that painful feelings from Tam? Please, come with us.." Begged Ellen. She take Kim's hand and hold it gently.

"Please."

Kim turns to watch Tam, who is still laying peacefully beside her. Watching her son's innocent face, she felt her heart melt. She made up her decision.

"Okay, I'll go with you."

Ellen, relieved that Kim agreed to go, says, "Thank you, Kim. You don't know how much this means to me."

**A/N:** Once again, review is greatly appreciated!! :)


	3. Path of Fate

**A/N:** It's been a hectic week for me, with all of the assigments that I have to submit! But finally I can finish up the 3rd chapter of Fate! Yaay!! And I decided to bring Gigi in to this fic.. I just kind of thinking that there is some sort of sister bond between Kim and Gigi, and I want to write about it. So.. she's going to be in this fic.. Maybe only in this chapter, or maybe in later chapters. What do you think? So... review please! :)

**Chapter 3: Path of Fate**

After another 3 days in the hospital, Kim is allowed to leave the hospital and pack her things to go to the States. Despite of her weak state, she seems full of energy. John goes with her. It has been his initiative to take her there, since Kim seems doesn't want to be near Chris too much, and it would be awkward for Ellen to go with Kim, just the two of them. Chris really wanted to accompany Kim, but because of Kim's distance to Chris and Ellen's feelings, John felt the need to step up and offer Kim his help.

When they reach the place, it seems no one was there. 'Well, given the place is _that_ kind of place, there's no wonder though..' John thinks.

Kim quietly packed her things and while waiting, John quickly take a look around the room. He could see a stack of papers full of children drawings, possibly Tam's. The other things are quite ordinary: a bed, a desk, and a drawer. He suddenly felt stuffed inside the room, since the room seems to grow smaller after he observed it.

"Kim, I'm going to wait outside. Is it fine?"

"Yes.. Don't worry. I should be fine." Assuring John, sensing the need to assure him that she's not going to do anything like she did a few days ago.

"Fine. I will be back in half an hour."

"Ok."

With that, John left.

Not long after that, someone knock the door. It turns out to be Gigi. It was quite a surprise for Kim to see Gigi in Bangkok as well when she first arrived there, but it's also a relieve for her to find someone she knew before, even though she knew Gigi just barely. They cared for each other. Gigi treated Kim as her little sister. She knows that Kim is fragile, and she sees it in Kim right from the first night Kim came to the bar.

"Kim! Oh, what a relieve to see you again! Are you alright? I've heard about your suicide attempt!" Gigi asked, worriedly.

"Yes, I'm alright." Kim answered weakly.

"Why would you do it? Don't you think about Tam?"

"I think about my son more than everything.. He's the only one that I will give my life for.."

"This is because of Chris's American wife, isn't it?"

"No… Gigi, I would rather not talk about this.."

"But… Wait, why are you packing all your and Tam's things? Where are you going?" Gigi asked.

"I'm.. Chris is taking both of us to the States."

"What? Kim, I don't know if I should be happy or not.."

"I know.. I was really ready to leave Tam with Chris and his wife.. But they begged me to go with them… They say that I won't recover fully as well if I stay here.. And Ellen… she just.. she's the one that persuaded me to go with them." Kim explained.

"Ellen? Who is..?"

"Chris's wife."

"Oh. But how?"

"She said that she knew that I'm an orphan. She asked me not to make Tam lost his mother. She asked me to go with them… for Tam's sake."

"Oh… but… Kim, are you sure? Are you sure you can face them everyday? Wouldn't it hurt more?"

"I don't know, Gigi… It's just that… I can't stop thinking what's best for Tam.. and Ellen's words keeps playing in my mind… I would do everything for Tam. I even go as far as giving up my life for him. This shouldn't be as hard as it is, right?

"I don't have any answers to that, Kim.. But if you are sure.. Then you know you have my support. Maybe this is your path of fate." Gigi smiled and hugs Kim.

"I'm going to miss you, Gigi.. Thanks for your support. Don't forget me." Kim cries and hugs her friend tight.

"I won't. Don't forget me either. You have to send letters to me. Tell me about everything. I will miss you too. You are my little sister, for me."

"Thank you. Now I should really pack these things up before John come here to pick me up."

Gigi was strucked, hearing that name again. 'It couldn't be him, isn't it? But John is Chris's friend.'

"Gigi, are you alright?" Kim asked worriedly.

"Yes, but did you say that the one who is picking you up is…. John? _That_ John?"

"Yes.. Oh, Gigi, I almost forgot. Are you sure you're alright?" Kim asked, as she remembered Gigi's past with John.

"Yes, Kim.. But I don't think I can face him."

"Oh."

"Then.. I should probably go now."

"This is our goodbye then?"

"I think so. Kim, just please.. whatever happens.. don't ever do anything like what you did a few days ago, promise me."

"I promise." Kim said, shaking.

Kim took the butterfly clay on the desk. This clay was made by Kim before when she misses Chris. Kim put the clay to Gigi's hand.

"Here, this is for you. So you would remember me."

"Thank you, Kim! … Here, take this." Gigi took off her ring and gave it to Kim.

"No, Gigi! This ring was given to you from your mother!"

"No, take it, Kim. So that this ring would remind you of me. I would have your butterfly clay to remind me of you, and my mother's necklace to remind me of her. These 2 should be enough for me."

"But.."  
"No more excuses. Take it. And make sure Tam would know about me."  
"I would Gigi. He would remember his aunt Gigi."

"Bye Kim.."  
"Bye Gigi.."

They hugged once more and Gigi left.

Kim cleans up her face and finished her packing. Not long after that, John comes to pick her up.

Now, she is heading towards a new life. A life in the States. A life she had to face. Watching her husband with his new wife living together everyday. A life that she would go through for Tam.

With a sigh, she take a final look around her room, silently saying her goodbyes to this room, and then she left to start her new life.

**A/N:** In the next chapter, Kim would see new things, Chris is in doubt of his love towards (Both) Kim and Ellen, Ellen tries to befriend Kim, John thought back about Gigi, and more...

Soooo... review please! I would be happy to post the new chapter sooner if there's some reviews! :))


	4. New Life, New Beginning

A/N: Finally.......... I finished my exams! I'm hoping I'll pass though.. :(. I felt that this chapter is a little bit hard to write, since I want to take it slow, but I somehow feel this chapter seems like a filler chapter.. Oh, and in this fic, I decided that Chris is an orphan while Ellen's parents.. umm... they're still alive, but may not make any appearances here, because I feel there's too many characters already with a lot of plots to explore.. I'm thinking of making another fic for the companion for John & Gigi's plot though.. but not sure yet.. Any opinions? I'll start making it if anyone ask me to.

**Chapter 4: New Life, New Beginning**

"This is your room, Kim. Take a rest, I know you'll be tired, you haven't recovered enough."

"Thank you, Ellen."  
"Just tell me if you need anything. Make yourself comfortable. This is your home too now. I'll leave you now so you can rest." Ellen smiled.

"Thanks. Come Tam, you must be tired too." Kim smiled in return and starts to help Tam to change to his night clothes. Ellen closed the door and went back to her room.

Now that Kim is here, she felt the uneasiness Kim feels towards Chris. Ellen felt guilty every time she saw Kim and Tam. She felt that she took away their happiness. Not only that, she felt awkward and doesn't have any idea to act when she, Chris and Kim are in the same room.

Shaking her head, she change to her night gown and go to bed straight away. Before, she would wait for Chris and they will talk about things before they both sleep, but now… Ellen just can't talk to Chris. She knew that Chris would somehow bring this matter to their conversation. Feeling Chris entering the room, she tried her hardest to doze off.

Chris, feeling Ellen's uneasiness, frowned. He tried to sleep, but he found that hard. After one long hour, and assuming that Ellen is fast asleep, he got off the bed and went to see Kim and Tam.

Chris open Kim's bedroom slightly and peek inside the room. He saw that Tam is fast asleep, while Kim, with her back towards the door, is watching Tam closely. Once in a while Kim kissed Tam's forehead while humming a lullaby. A tune that he felt really familiar with. He felt his heart is torn. He desperately wants to give Kim everything that she should have: a family with him. Not out of pity, but out of love. But on the other side, he doesn't have the heart to hurt Ellen and leave her. He then left and went back to bed.

If only he would turn and see Ellen's face, he would see a tear sliding down her cheek.

Ellen, who actually just pretends to sleep, followed Chris and saw how Chris's eyes shone with love towards Kim and Tam.

Deep down in her heart, she knows that it's only a matter of time. And sooner or later, she must let go and let this family have their happiness.

--

The next morning, Ellen is determined to befriend Kim. She felt they deserved a fresh start and become friends.

"Good morning! How have you been feeling today?" Ellen asked, trying to be friendly to Kim.

"I'm… fine, thanks. I feel better." Kim answered awkwardly.

"Chris has left for work just now."

"Oh."

Ellen felt Kim's uneasiness, tried to explain, "Kim.. I.. I feel we need a fresh start, not only because of Chris, but mostly for Tam. As long as you are uncomfortable, he won't be as well. Can we be friends?"

Kim, who had held her head down, nodded and smile at Ellen, "Ok."

Ellen smiled back, "Breakfast? I prepared this for you. What about you, Tam? Hungry?"

Tam, glancing at Kim as if asking for approval, after saw Kim nodded and smiled to him, say, "Yes, auntie Ellen."

Ellen smiled and hug Tam. The rest of their breakfast was passed with nice chat. Ellen and Kim felt some uneasiness melt away and embrace their new friendship.

--

Meanwhile, John can't help to be reminded of Gigi. He is sure the girl that went out of Kim's place that day when he waited for Kim to pack is Gigi. Unknown to everyone, the reason he didn't get married until now is because he is still reminded of Gigi. He remember fully the last time he saw Gigi, 3 years ago..

_-Flashback-_

"_John, please, you can't leave me here! You have to take me with you!" Gigi asked desperately._

"_And why not? It's not like we are in a relationship or anything!"_

"_You can't! Please! I love you! I know you love me!" Gigi cried._

"_Oh please.. You are just nothing but a whore!" John sneered while walking away from Gigi. Her eyes widened by his words while tears keep sliding down her face._

"_You have to take me John! We are bound together!"_

"_Watch your words! We don't have anything together unless sex!"_

"_I….. I'm pregnant with your child!"_

_John stopped when he heard it. 'Pregnant?....... No, She must be lying! Or it maybe someone else's child, not me!'_

_John slapped her and said, "Don't lie! You must be lying so I will take you to the States!"_

_Gigi held her reddened cheek and cried even harder, "I'm really pregnant!!"  
John yelled back, "Even if you're pregnant, how can you be sure it's my child, hmm? Not someone else's child?"_

_Gigi, angered by his words, said, "How can it be someone else's child when every night you are the one I'm sleeping with? And don't forget, I'm always with you at day time and went back to Dreamland when it's almost time to get ready for the night!"_

_John walked away from Gigi, but not before hurting her with his last words, "You are not pregnant with my child, and I'm leaving you!"_

_With that, he walked away, while Gigi crying helplessly._

_-End of flashback-_

John can't help to feel guilty after he is back in the States. He always thought, 'What if Gigi is really pregnant that time with my child? I would have already abandoned them for so many years..'

He always wonders what have happened to Gigi after that. Working in an organization to help Bui-doi meeting their fathers doesn't help either. Actually, it always make him guiltier when he saw the kids that was left behind, thinking he might already did that to his own child with Gigi.

Seeing Gigi that day only refresh his memories of how bad he hurt Gigi that time. He realized how foolish he was, and how actually he was in love with Gigi, even until now. He felt stupid for denying his love for Gigi and his own child. Suddenly, something came over him. He thought, 'If I can find a child who has not even known existed by the father, why can't I find Gigi and my own child? I should have done this ages ago.'

John is now determined to find Gigi and their child. Not knowing what has happened to Gigi after he left..

A/N: In the next chapter, I MAY reveal what happened to Gigi that time, Kim and Ellen's friendship is getting better, Chris spends more time with Tam, John starts to try to find out what happened to Gigi, and MAY ask Kim.. I'm not sure if I want Kim to reveal what happened to Gigi though.. So please review and tell me what you think!


	5. What Happened 3 Years Ago

**A/N: Ok guys.... first of all I would like to apologize for not updating this fic for a long while already. So many things came up and to make things worst, I got writer's block. Yeah, not my fave either... I'm not promising that I'd be updating this fic regularly now, but I DO promise that I'd update as soon as I can... which I can't guarantee for how long it takes.. Anyway... Reviews are appreciated!!**

**Chapter 5: What Happened 3 Years Ago**

John started to gather information about Gigi and their child, but it seems that fate is playing a cruel trick on him. It's like karma. He can barely get anything about them. Now his last hope is only Kim, which he didn't even know if she knew anything about Gigi. Seeing as she is his last hope, finally he decided to come and ask her.

Ellen was the one who opened the door.

"Hi Ellen, How's everything?"

"Oh everything's fine as it can be. Come in!"

Ellen let him in and invited him to the living room.

" What brings you here? Chris is not home yet." Ellen asked as she served John some tea.

"I know. I'm here to speak to Kim."

"Actually, she's sleeping now. Is there anything important?"

"I… it's… I need to find some information from her." John contemplated whether he should reveal what his intention of asking to Ellen, since he even didn't tell Chris about it.

"Seems important… May I know… what… ?"

John sighed, and felt the urge to share it to Ellen, since he didn't think he can share it with Chris.

"Listen Ellen… You may wonder why I didn't get married. It's not because I haven't found a suitable woman yet, but because I've got someone in my mind already. No one ever knew about it, not even Chris. I've been carrying this heavy burden in my heart for a long time. I can't get her face out of my mind, because… I did something unforgiveable." He covered his face with his hands, his heart filled with anguish.

"It's ok John, you can share it with me. You left someone back in Vietnam as well didn't you?"

"Ellen, it's even worse! I may have already abandoned her and my own child, just because of my ignorance and pride!"

"What do you mean?"

"When I was about to leave her, she told me that she's pregnant with my child. I denied her and the child with all I might, thinking that they are just going to ruin my reputation."

Ellen shocked and just responded with an "Oh."

"You may think that I'm heartless. Hell, I AM heartless. And it is my karma now. I can't find them. My only hope is Kim."

"John… At least you realized it… You do want them and you do have the intention to make things right, don't you?"

"Yes. Thank you for listening, Ellen."

Ellen smiled, "No problem. I'll check if she's awake now."

John smiled and silently prayed, _'Dear God, please, don't take away my last hope.'_

Ellen came back to the room with Kim.

Kim started, "Ellen told me about everything already, John."

John nodded, "Were you still in contact with Gigi before you left Bangkok?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. But you may not like what I'm going to tell you…" Kim said with sad eyes.

John kneeled in front of Kim and practically begged, "Please, I need to know what happened to Gigi and my child! I know I hurt her, but I realized that now. I want to make things right. I need to know."

Kim sighed, "Okay, so three years ago.."

_*Flashback*_

_Gigi tried to meet John again, after he rejected her and their baby. She went to the embassy's gates and tried to find John, but all the guards ignored her and told her to go away. That she's just a whore that John won't even remember._

_She kept waiting and cried his name, but John was not even there. Then the chaos began. With the crowd surrounding her, all together watching the helicopters left them helplessly, she cried for her child's fate to live without a father. Her sadness was overwhelming her and with the crowd surrounding her, she collapsed._

_--_

_Gigi woke up in a little hut. She felt the intense pain on her abdomen and moaned. An old lady rushed to her and told her to lay down._

"_What happened?" Gigi asked weakly._

"_You collapsed in the middle of the crowd just now… Luckily I saw you and took you back here. You must have been unconscious for a long time. You lost a lot of blood too." She said with a sad, concerned face._

"_B-blood?"_

"_Yes. I was a nurse before, so I knew how to treat you as possible as you can."_

_Gigi's hands instantly went to her abdomen. The old lady seemed to understand what she's asking and said, "I'm sorry, dear. You lost a lot of blood, and we only found you after a long period of time."_

"_W-what?"  
"You lost your baby."_

_Gigi felt as if she was struck by lightning. Her tears flow endlessly before she fell unconscious again._

_After she's healthier, she went to The Engineer and asked him to take her wherever he goes. Little did she know that she will meet Kim again, and she treated Kim as if she's her younger sister, and Tam as if he was her own son._

_*End of Flashback*_

John was struck. Karma is really punishing him. His child was dead.

"I'm sorry John… Gigi herself was really depressed… I think if Tam wasn't there, she would probably had lost her mind. She treated Tam as if Tam is her own son. But deep down, I know she still feel the pain from losing the baby."

A/N: Dun dun dun... I bet you guys have guessed that Gigi lost the baby. What do you think about it guys? Well, karma hurts, that's for sure... I think I'd be back on track with Kim-Chris in the next chapter... If there's no plot bunny and writer's block that's gonna hit me. :)


	6. Friends? Will We Ever Be Friends?

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm back with a new chapter! So sorry I took such a long time... Writer's block is really my enemy. So, I know this chapter is a little bit short, but I just want to give you guys something. So, here it is!**

**Chapter 6: Friends? Will We Ever Be Friends?**

It's been one month after Kim told John about what happened to Gigi. Kim couldn't forget John's sorrowful and painful expression before he quickly excused himself and leave their house.

'No, not my house, Chris and Ellen's house. The Scotts'. It will be my son's home, but not mine. Never will be.' Kim thought.

Sometimes Kim in her own condition felt somehow thankful. Granted that she lived a poor life in those 3 years, she still have Tam. She can't imagine being in Gigi's condition. Losing everything, and losing the child that she had.

Kim is considering to find a small place to live once she's healthy. She is grateful for what Chris and Ellen have done for her, but the only way that she can think of to repay them is by letting them have their own lives. After all, Ellen is his wife now. Kim has never and will never thought of being an obstacle their marriage life. Although she still doesn't know what to do with Tam. Almost losing her life and being separated with Tam forever has brought Kim the realization that she can never ever be able to be separated with Tam. She is sure that she can't leave Tam behind, but she herself didn't have any income to provide everything they both need, and Kim just can't take away Tam from Chris anymore.

A knock interrupted her thoughts.

"Kim? Can I come in?"

Ellen.

"Of course."

Ellen sat on the bed and try to approach Kim.

"Kim… I want to talk to you about us. I mean, two of us."

"Yes."

"I know that we're always awkward to each other since we arrived. Kim, I truly want to be friends with you. I know that you'll feel that there's distance between us, but I really genuinely care for you."

"Yes, of course, I want everyone to feel comfortable, of course."

"So Kim… please, open up and let's be friends. Just forget the fact about Chris. I want to think of you as my sister. Is it ok for me to do that?"

Kim, startled that Ellen makes a huge effort, smiled and said, "Of course Ellen. I am happy and grateful to be your sister."

Ellen smiled widely, as if her burdens are all gone in a second, hugged Kim, "Thanks Kim. We can have our new start. It's nice to have a sister."

Deep down Kim felt even more confused. She felt like she's even more tangled in this complicated situation… And she just had a feeling that it might be impossible to escape it.

A/N: Is it ok if I post short chapters? I feel like that way I could give you guys more and faster updates rather than waiting for a long chapter (my standard: a chapter is 1000)?

Coming up: Kim try to start up her life and settle down, Chris-Tam bonding, Kim-Ellen friendship, and we'll have a continuation of John-Gigi! Ooh! And some new characters coming in!


End file.
